David and Bathsheba

Oh what a tangled web we weave; When first we practice to deceive – Sir Walter Scott

As you read the Bible you will find consequences for bad behavior in there. God, throughout the whole Bible, is dishing out scoldings and discipline to people. This is yet another proof of John Calvin being WRONG. John Calvin says God controls EVERYTHING. Nobody has any responsibility in any matters except for God. According to Calvin, God pulls all the puppet strings for all people. God IS the PUPPET MASTER. He chooses who will go to heaven and who will go to hell. He predestined them. Let’s look at this logically. Why in the world is God dishing out scoldings and discipline to people if they really had no say in the matter? Does that make sense to you?

Take David and Bathsheba. You remember that story don’t you? David is sitting back on his rooftop enjoying life, checking out his kingdom when low and behold he spots a beautiful naked lady bathing on her rooftop. The Bible never tells us why this beautiful lady is bathing on her rooftop, but there she is in all her naked glory. And David is a man. A heterosexual, normal man with a sex drive. He is stunned by this naked beauty and he has got to have her. And since he’s the king, he requests her to come to his palace so they can participate in the forbidden fruits of adultery. So they do. Now there are consequences for what they have done (unlike popular tv shows). Bathsheba gets pregnant. Whoops. And another complication is, Bathsheba’s husband is out fighting the battles as David should have been doing. The husband is busy working. The husband is not home. The husband is busy working, outside the home while Bathsheba is home (by herself) getting pregnant. Now David is a smart guy. He knows all about the birds and the bees, so now he’s got to figure out how to get the husband home to be with the wife that David’s been with.

David comes up with a plan. He figures he’ll bring the husband home, right now, to make sure he’s with Bathsheba to cover up his sin with Bathsheba. And it get’s better. The dude comes home, and being the stand up guy he is, won’t sleep with his wife. Now David is up against this stand up guy who won’t sleep with his wife because he can’t relax when he knows his comrades are out there fighting – where David should have been also. This is what we would call “a situation.” David has got a situation on his hands. You can just picture David wringing his hands and pacing back and forth in his palace wondering what to do. Or maybe he’s on the rooftop again. Either way, he’s got a major situation and this is NOT good for David. So David comes up with a second plan. “I know!” he says to himself, “I need to kill him. That will take care of everything.” Isn’t that what we all say when we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, just kill the problem?

So David orders Bathsheba’s husband up to the front lines of the war because he knows Bathsheba’s husband will be killed instantly. And once he’s killed, David can stop wringing his hands and breath easy. PROBLEM SOLVED! And that’s exactly what happens, husband is placed at the front lines of the battle, he is killed, and now David can rest easy.

Not so fast. God has all these pesky prophets that tend to ruin the sinner’s fun. But we will get to that in a minute. I want you to notice something. The Bible never says God made all these decisions. It puts the responsibility square on David’s shoulders. David saw Bathsheba and wanted to sleep with her. David did sleep with her. David got her pregnant. David called the husband home. David decided to get him killed since he wouldn’t cooperate with David’s plan. It’s all David according to the Bible.

Now God is fully aware of what David has done. So He sends one of His pesky prophets, Nathan, to remind David what he has done. And there will be a hefty price to pay for all this adultery and killing. Nathan shows up to speak with David. He tells David a sad story about guy and his lamb. This guy had one lamb that he loved, but a rich guy decides he wants that guy’s lamb. The rich guy takes that guy’s lamb. Nathan asks a really good question to David. What should be done with his greedy dude? David says he should be killed. Then, like a pivotal point in a movie, Nathan declares, “You…you are that man David!” Whoa! David thought he’d cleaned up his mess. He forgot or didn’t care to remember, God sees all, and knows all, you can’t just get away with things, even if they are done in secret. David falls down in repentance and cries out to Nathan. Nathan tells him there will be a hefty price to pay for his sin.

Going back to John Calvin’s theory that God pulls all the strings, why is God sending Nathan to accuse David of his sins? Why does David have to pay a hefty price for this sin? According to Calvin, God chose David to do this. God ordained David to sin with Bathsheba and kill off her husband. This was ALL God according to John Calvin. Does any of that make sense? Who DO we see making all these choices to sin? Why David, of course! David is the one plotting and scheming to get what he wants and then covering it over. DAVID, DAVID, DAVID. It’s all David. It is completely illogical to say God made David do it. Because if that was the case, why does God send Nathan to scold David and tell him he’s going to be punished? Does that make sense to you? It doesn’t to me. If we look at this story through Calvin’s eyes, this is really illogical for God to send Nathan to David. If we look at this story through the Bible as the Bible tells us the story, it makes sense because David did all that bad stuff, and God “spanked” him for it. Let’s just be logical people!