Housework Disproves Evolution

If you have ever been a housewife for any stretch of time, you would realize EVOLUTION IS JUST NOT TRUE. Seriously, people. Has anyone cleaned a toilet? We tentatively approach that great white throne with fear and trepidation . We know what’s in there. We know what’s been going in there on a regular basis. And when we approach that toilet, there it is, just as we knew. It hasn’t cleaned itself. It’s not all bright and shiny and white. An angelic choir is not standing over it while beams of light shine gloriously from it. It’s just plain icky. We have to get on our knees and scrub away the ick, germs, and crud. Bleh. I would love for evolution to be true when it comes to housecleaning. I want to walk up to my toilets and hear the angels singing. But that never happens.

Dust bunnies never turn into real bunnies. Toilets don’t get whiter and cleaner as time goes by. My windows don’t get clearer and shinier. Evolution is the theory that life was spawned out of chaos. Out of disorder, came order. But that’s backwards, as any good housewife would know. We don’t approach our houses, thinking a dust bunny has spontaneously become a real life bunny.

As we approach our work day in and day out, week after week, month after month, NOTHING IS GETTING BETTER. And if we don’t intervene, the dust bunnies multiply, the toilets get worse and worse, and the windows get more and more difficult to see out of. So how is this idea of evolution true? In real life, everyday situations, everything is going from order to disorder. That is called thermodynamics. How’s that for a good fifty cent word? Work that into your next conversation and impress your friends with it. Thermodynamics is the theory that order becomes disorder.

I first heard the word, thermodynamics, in my 8th grade Life Science class by the same teacher who wrote, “God is dead,” on the chalkboard on my first day of school. I was a Christian at this time. I caught my breath when he wrote it on the board. I stared. Nobody in our class said anything. He didn’t say anything. I’m not sure why he wrote it on the chalkboard. But it’s one of those memories that are so clear and burned in your brain. Maybe he wanted to cause a reaction in the class and see what he was dealing with. Well now, I knew WHAT I was dealing with. Me and the teacher WERE NOT going to be friends. He wasn’t going to be my mentor.

Besides writing, “God is dead,” on the chalkboard, he taught us evolution AND the theory of thermodynamics. I remember liking that word. I remember having conversations in my head about how that word seemed to contradict the theory of evolution. Here evolution is saying out of chaos came life – ordered. But thermodynamics said everything ordered becomes disordered. My teacher didn’t seem to catch on that he was talking out of two sides of his mouth. How could evolution work, when the theory of thermodynamics says everything ordered becomes disordered and not the other way around?

The theory of thermodynamics matched what I already knew to be true about this old earth. I knew God created the world and everything in it, in six days. How did I know that? Well the Bible said He did. I also knew the theory of thermodynamics was totally true. How did I know that? Well I had already cleaned a few toilets by this time and I hadn’t found one that cleaned itself yet. I had also swept a few rooms and cleaned a few windows and washed a few dishes. Nothing was getting any better. I also had to clean a few school buses.

My grandpa owned the school buses for the schools in my town. He paid me and my sister to clean those buses every once in awhile. I hated that job. Imagine cleaning a school bus in the middle of winter. Everything froze to the floor. There would be partial black bananas frozen to the floor of the bus. I would have to take the handle of the broom and chip away at the banana to free it. Apple cores froze to the floor. Brown paper sacks all over the place. I remember entering the bus and looking down the long aisle. If only the theory of thermodynamics wasn’t true. If only things went from disorder to order. If that were only true, I wouldn’t have to spend my Saturday chipping black bananas and apple cores off the floor of a bus.