My Kids Fight

My kids aren’t perfect. I know, I know, you may have thought otherwise, but it’s true. They can bicker and fight like the best of them. So we are walking into church today. My daughter is complaining to my son how he picks on her. He’s telling her she annoys him all the time. She shoots back to him that she doesn’t annoy him all the time. He shoots back that she does. And on and on it goes. And we’re walking into church at this time. We sit down, the three of us, with me in the middle. They are still going at it.

I turn to my son, “Back off and leave your sister alone!”

I turn to my daughter, “Back off and quit poking the bear!”

Both start, “But…!”

“No! I say. I repeat myself.

To my son, “Back off and leave your sister alone!”

To my daughter, “Quit poking the bear!”

A truce is called. I know they aren’t done, but they know I AM! They know if they push any farther, ipods will be confiscated. I have leverage and I’m not afraid to use it. So there is a temporary quiet, a temporary still in the storm. Just to insure the peace treaty, I give them both the look. They know what that means: no one better say anything, Mom has had enough!

The service continues, my kids can’t argue because WE ARE IN CHURCH. While singing praise songs I think about my kids. I am frustrated, a little angry at both of them. I have given up so much for them and I don’t have perfect children. What gives? I have sacrificed my time, money, my education, and I have two bickering teenagers. The time passes and the anger ebbs. Some frustration is still there. It will rise up again, when my children fight, again. But for now, the frustration and anger have ebbed.

We do communion at the end of the service. Our pastor has talked about why Jesus Christ had to die on the cross. He tells us the details of the horrific death Jesus Christ suffered. They pass out the communion bread. I hold it in my hand. It’s a sharp holey piece of cracker.

“This is Christ’s body which was broken for our sin. The holes represent the holes in Jesus’ hands and feet.” We take the cracker as a symbol of Christ’s body crucified for our sins.

They pass out the grape juice in the little cups. My focus on my unruly children has completely shifted. I’m thinking about Jesus Christ now. I’m thinking about His blood that was shed for my sins. The singer leads us in singing, “Amazing Grace.” We all sing the first stanza. The women sing the second stanza. All the men are to sing the third stanza. I am holding the little cup of juice. Both of my kids are holding their own cup of juice. No one is talking, we are singing, “Amazing Grace.”

On the third stanza when all the men are supposed to sing I hear a baritone voice next to me, “Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come.” My heart skips a beat. The baritone voice continues, “Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.” I feel a dampness on my cheeks. I can’t look at my son right now who is the baritone singing. I can’t look at this 15 year old man/child. He might stop singing. He might get embarrassed. I look forward, holding my little juice cup, letting the dampness on my cheeks swell to a steady flow.

Both of my kids are holding their cups of juice. Both of them hear that the juice symbolizes Jesus Christ’s blood shed on the cross for their sins. Both of them participate in this practice because they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. We all drink the juice. I’m holding my empty communion cup in front of me when my daughter slips her cup into mine. My son does the same. We have remembered the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ together, as a family. We have been reminded that Jesus Christ died for the sins of all people. I still hold the empty cups in front of me. I am reminded of the fact that both my children have accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. Isn’t that the goal? I can’t take anything with me to Heaven, but I definitely want to see my children there. They aren’t perfect. None of us are. But they know the truth. They know who Jesus Christ is.

The communion reminds me of our imperfection. Jesus Christ shed His blood for all people. The goal of parenting isn’t perfection. The goal of parenting is to lead them to Jesus Christ. They need to accept Jesus Christ as their own Savior. They need to be reminded of this. Communion reminds us of this. I’m here, sitting between my two kids, holding empty juice cups because we remember what Jesus Christ did for us. My husband and I drove the kids to the church. I sat between them. We brought them to the Living Water. And that should always be the goal. I remember Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and I remember what my goal is as a parent. The goal of parenting isn’t perfect kids. The goal of parenting is to bring them to the Living Water.