2016 My Daughter Graduates

We are just about to finish another year. This new year will bring our family some milestones. One major milestone is that my daughter will graduate from high school. My daughter will graduate from high school! That sounds so strange to say. I will be done schooling one of my children. Ack. Where did the time go? I was never going to homeschool my kids. Now I am going to see one of them graduate from our homeschool.

Did I do everything I was supposed to do? Did I teach her everything she needed to know? Probably not. There was the one spelling book we never finished. We only read one work of Shakespeare. She doesn’t drive yet. People ask us what she will do next year. We tell them she’ll probably attend the junior college down the street. Some people think that’s a great idea. Others look at me horrified, like I’ve committed the unpardonable sin. I shrug my shoulders. I’m not out to please people. It never works. Too much work to make everyone happy. But I do want to look back at this homeschool journey. Why homeschool? Why did the Lord call me to homeschool my kids?

I think it was about me. Don’t we think everything is about us? But seriously, I think God called me to homeschool because He wanted to work on me. When we become Christians, we all begin a work, a journey with the Lord. He refines us, molds us into His image. Homeschooling does that to a person. We are on our own in this journey. There is no one to trust, but God. There is no one to turn to, but God. Homeschooling pushes us to our knees. It’s all on our shoulders. We get scared: are we going to do it right? (Whatever THAT means?) Are we going to screw up our kids? Are they going to be normal? Why am I doing this?

I remember when I first started out. My daughter wasn’t taking to reading very well. I began to panic. Everyone else I knew that had children the same age, were all bragging to me how their kids were reading Shakespeare and how they were these proteges and Harvard was calling them already and blah, blah, blah. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the picture. Well my daughter wasn’t taking to reading at all. I could tell she really struggled. She looked at me and I could see the light was out in her eyes. I really begun to panic. I was out on a limb with this whole homeschool gig and I couldn’t prove my muster. It was all on me and it looked like I was failing. I talked to a good friend of mine. She told me that kids all learn to read in their good time. It’s nothing on me as her teacher, it just happens when they’re ready. She WILL learn to read. That helped for a little bit, but I could still tell my daughter just wasn’t making it. The Harvard moms were getting to me and I began to panic again. I didn’t want to fail. I went to the bathroom and cried. And then I cried out to the Lord and asked Him what to do. When I was done blubbering to the Lord I opened my eyes and noticed the Sonlight Curriculum catalog on the floor. I picked it up. I turned it over. There, on the back page, of the catalog was a full page ad for this book on how to help kids read. The ad asked the question if your student was struggling to read, this would help. Wow! It was like God read my mind!!! I immediately ordered the book. I couldn’t wait for the book to come in. I tore open the package when it arrived and I began to read it like I was on a sinking ship and I need directions for the life raft. Like I was starving and this was my first meal. Like I was…(Ok, you get the picture). The book, in case you need help, was called Reading Reflex.

Well the book gave me really simple activities to show my daughter how the process of reading worked. It told me I needed to tear the words apart and sound them out to her individually and then it would be her job to push them together. I couldn’t wait. She was doing something on the couch and I caught her in mid play. I told her we were going to play a game. I had her attention, so I went for it. I separated out the word, “frog.” She pushed the sounds together and said, “frog.” Eureka! I struck gold. I was excited and she looked amused that she had excited me! She was willing to try it again. I separated more words for her. She pushed them back together. She immediately understood. I could see the light turn on in her eyes. We did it! We did more exercises the book recommended. She responded well to them! She was going to learn to read! I wasn’t a failure! I could face my doubters about homeschooling with my head held high. Thank you Lord!

And that’s why it’s about us. God always wants us in that place where we are broken, and scared. He loves a contrite heart. I could tell you more stories about me failing at homeschooling and then crying out to the Lord. And I probably will. But as I think of this new year coming, I think I’m in a good place with the Lord: needy, broken, scared and always looking for help. And God is right there for me. It’s where He wants me.