Pish Posh Global Warming

A few years back, I came out of a grocery store to run smack into Green Peace workers asking me to sign some sort of petition. The young girl walked up to me and asked me if I cared about the environment. The look on her face was priceless, when I said that I didn’t. “No, I don’t care about the environment,” I told her. She was speechless. I left her, standing there, with her clipboard at her side, looking like she just witnessed a brutal puppy killing.

Al Gore is coming out with a new movie, a sequel to his first billion dollar movie about global warming. I just saw a trailer for it. The trailer talks about how the first movie predicted several events, and shore enough, they all came true. Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Al Gore can’t win a presidency, but he can predict earth events. Weathermen can’t even predict the weather, but Al Gore, can predict what’s going to happen to the earth in the future. That’s amazing.

Um, Al Gore, uh, this isn’t how it’s all going to go down. You see, there’s this book. You might have heard of it. It’s called the Bible, and this book has predicted events that have been 100% accurate. I’m not talking 20% or a whopping 50%. No, this book has been 100% correct in every one of it’s predictions. Those are some good odds. And this Book (the Bible) has predicted how it’s all going to go down, and global warming just ain’t an issue in there.

Al, buddy, the temperature of the earth changes all the time. I took a biology class in college, so I have some expertise on the matter. It ebbs and flows, sometimes cooler, sometimes warmer, simple. Now there are going to be some major catastrophic events that will happen to this earth in the future. Let me fill you in on some of those.

There’s going to be a cataclysmic earthquake. It’s going to wipe out a third of the population. A giant meteor called Wormwood, is going to smack the earth and poison all the freshwater. (See, the Bible even has a name for the meteor). There are going to be hailstones bigger than bowling bowls. Now, you can’t give global warming credit for these hailstones, because God already predicted them in the Bible, way before you put out your global warming movie. God gets credit for it, because He said that’s what He’s going to do. A third of the sea will become blood, killing a third of all the sea creatures. The lights will go out when a third of the sun, stars and moon go dark. Some creepy locusts are going to come out and sting people so badly they will want to die, but can’t. Some horses will march through the earth breathing fire and brimstone, and killing a third of mankind.

I could go on and on, but those are the highlights. You can find all of these predictions in the Bible, in the book of Revelation. If you want to read about these things, go straight to chapter seven and read on from there.

The point I am making, is that some serious events ARE going to happen to the Earth. But global warming doesn’t get credit for it, God does. He has predicted them in the Bible. And global warming really isn’t an issue, at all. It’s men’s hearts. It’s for you, Al Gore, and anyone who refuses to bend their knees to Jesus Christ. That is why this stuff is going to happen.

The saddest part about all of this, as you read Revelation, is after each catastrophic event, the Bible says:

“But the rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, that they should not worship demons, and idols of gold, silver, brass, stone, and wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk,” Rev. 9:20.

So to you Al Gore and anyone else who is a disciple of global warming, quit fussing about the Earth getting warmer or cooler. That’s really not an issue. What is an issue is men who need to be saved, before all this happens. People who need to bend their knees to Jesus Christ. This stuff from Revelation IS going to happen, God told us how it’s all going to play out. He did it as a warning.

But you don’t have to fret about all this either. Accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, and you will be spared from all of this happening. And pish posh global warming. It’s really not an issue.