Winter Is Coming

Southern California has no seasons. We may dip down to the 60’s during “winter.” We may have some rain, in the spring, but we really don’t have seasons around here. I wish we did. When fall comes around, I miss Alaska. Now there’s where you have seasons. You know when summer’s coming, because it gets lighter and lighter outside. And it gets warmer, so much warmer. I think fall is my favorite time. The temperatures began to drop. The darkness of winter hasn’t completely settled in yet. There’s still a nice balance of light and dark. You know it’s coming, but it isn’t here yet. There’s a chill in the air. Winter will come. It will bring the cold and the snow and the darkness. We get ready for it. You make sure you’ve got a good winter coat. We check that last year’s coat still fits. You make sure you have a good supply of socks and sweaters. You enjoy the fall and the feel of it, knowing winter is just around the corner.

I’m in the fall of my life right now. I feel winter coming on. I don’t think I’m ready for it. I don’t want winter. I want to stay in the fall of my life. But a mother’s life is a series of seasons we pass through. We have that first season, when the kids are really young and you spend your days chasing them around and eating leftover grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Then there’s the elementary school years. The kids are not toddlers, but more human like at this time. They walk and talk and think you’re the greatest human being that walked the face of this earth. Then we hit the teenage years. As a friend of mine said, “They now have opinions.” Yes, they do. Lot’s of opinions. There are good days and bad days. There are days your daughter gets bullied on the internet and you need to hug her and tell her how much you love her. There are days, your son reports to you, that his friend got pulled over drunk driving, with him in the car.

My daughter will be gone from my house for two months. She’s leaving this week. She’s never been gone that long, ever. I’m going to miss her. It’s getting her ready to go to England in the spring for three months. It’s getting me ready for her to be gone during that time. This is my last year of homeschooling. I see winter coming, where I have to do something different. My identity is going to change. My son very likely will be gone next year, and very likely my daughter will be too. This mother hen will have an empty nest. This is the winter I’m not looking forward to.

I want them both to stay home with me, but they can’t. I don’t want things to change, but they will. I want to go back in time and be the mom to small kids again. But there’s no such thing as time machines. So here I face the on coming winter. I need to get ready for it. I don’t want it, but I must.

The Lord is my only life line. I won’t be able to move forward without Him. So, with anxiety in my heart, I get ready for winter. It is coming. I’m not sure I will be ready. Our pastor said this morning, “We can’t know the future, so we must trust in the One who does.” That’s all I’ve got. But it’s proved to be true over and over. My winter is coming and I just need to trust in the One who knows the future.