God Longs To Be Gracious

In this waiting time, I found a verse I’ve been dwelling on. It encourages me.

Isaiah 30:18 “Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.”

Thinking about this verse, I thought of my daughter when she went to England last April. She had wanted to go to England for so long, and now was her chance. We stayed in London for a week to tour, before she had to get on a bus and go six hours north to her new home for eight weeks. As we neared the time, when she would take off, my daughter got more and more irritable. I knew she was struggling with the stress of going to a new place, all by herself. It’s something she always wanted to do, but the reality of it actually happening frightened her.

We arrived at the bus station and my daughter was terrified. She stood there, near the group of people that were also going. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. In my mind, I wondered if she would actually get on the bus, it seemed this completely overwhelmed her. But it was what she wanted. She has wanted this for a long time.

My husband and I decided to go sit down and let my daughter get used to the idea of getting on that bus. I just asked her the other day if we had asked her if she wanted to go home, would she? She said she would have.

So I sat across the bus station looking on my daughter who looked so scared. I wondered if we were cruel parents for making her do this. But this is what she wanted. She’s always wanted to go to England, and this was her chance. But was she ready? Could she handle this? Should we just rescue her and tell her just to come back to the hotel with us and we could all go home.

I knew in my heart, this was good for her. She would be fine at the school. She would make friends and enjoy herself immensely. And that is exactly what happened. She had such a good time, she sobbed to leave the place. She made so many friends, she’s talked over and over about going back.

I would give my right arm for my child. Watching her standing there, scared out of her mind, at the bus station, hurt me. I wanted her to be okay. I knew she would be okay. But in that moment, I longed to be gracious to her. I knew, if she managed to just get on that bus, it would be one of the greatest experiences of her life.

And that’s what the verse of Isaiah tells me. I’m still waiting on the Lord. And what seems hard and maybe even harsh, it’s not so. God waits on high to have compassion on me. He longs to be gracious to me. And as I look at my circumstances I cling to that knowledge. It is just like watching my daughter look so afraid, but knowing if she could just hang on and get on the bus, things would be so great. God has good things for me, so I wait.