As I am going through this trial, I’ve hunted scriptures to bring me comfort. I look up in my concordance for the word tribulations. It leads me to the verses in James.
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)
I read that and it feels like a cold glass of water splashed in my face. It’s a shock to the system. It’s a stab in the gut. I need encouragement now. I don’t consider any of this joyful. I didn’t ask for this. I want it gone and done. I don’t linger on this passage. I go elsewhere on my hunt for comfort.
I find Romans 5:3 “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulations brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope..”
I’m not exulting in my tribulations. I feel abandoned by God. I feel alone and unloved, wishing the rapture would happen now. I read that verse and think to myself that I don’t want perseverance or character. I’ll take the hope. But I don’t want the other stuff if this is what I have to go through.
I feel no joy. I feel no hope. These verses feel like punches in the gut. Almost like I’m being mocked. How can I feel joy while going through a trial? How do I exult in this tribulation when all I feel right now is pain.
So I cry out to God. “I’m miserable now Lord! I have no joy! I don’t know what these verses are talking about. How am I supposed to consider all this joy when I hurt so badly? How does one exult in tribulations?”
And then God is His infinite mercy hears my cry. He doesn’t answer me audibly, but He begins to work. Ever so slowly, He begins that powerful drawing of me to Himself. It’s like someone slowly pulling you into a big strong hug. He doesn’t move too fast, otherwise it would probably freak me out. Slowly, I feel His presence all around me. He brings up scriptures into my remembrance. “Never will I leave you or forsake you.” “He is near to the broken-hearted.” “The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him.”
He reminds me, in my head, that He does love me. He has heard all of my prayers. He will answer me. And then He tells me, “Watch what I’m going to do.”
I’m silenced. Slowly I feel the thick walls that have imprisoned me, began to have cracks. Joy begins seeping through those cracks. I actually feel joy! “Watch what I’m going to do.” So I watch and wait. I am the audience of God’s magnificence. I will witness His power and His might. More joy seeps through and the walls have come down. The great God of the Universe is looking at me, speaking with me and I begin to consider it joy to experience trials and tribulations.
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