Foxes In The Hen House

I worked as an elementary school counselor for several years. I saw and heard things, most of us really don’t want to know about. I remember a boy who came to school with bruises on his body from head to toe. His dad had beat him. I remember a schizophrenic mother who confessed to me that she had dropped her baby on the floor, thinking she had set him on the counter. I remember, when a woman who worked for child protection services sat in my office, telling me horrific stories of what she had seen.

So when I started this whole parenting gig, I never looked at the world with rose colored glasses. I had seen enough and heard enough to know the world is evil. I knew there were predators out there, who wanted to prey upon my children. I have been careful. I haven’t been hysterical, just careful.

And the predators have come along. I’ve known the signs, so I was ready. I was ready, when a young, single male teacher taught my daughter Sunday School. When I went to pick her up from class and realized who her teacher was, red flags raised in my head. He sat with my daughter and another girl, being totally silly. He was tossing goldfish crackers up in the air and tried to catch them with his mouth. He didn’t acknowledge me right away, either he was too involved with his goldfish antics or just didn’t care that the mother was standing there at the door, waiting for her daughter. Either way, in my mind, he just got a black mark next to his name. He got another black mark next to his name, when the following Sunday, he kept my daughter and another girl in the classroom again, acting very childlike and what I would term flirting with the little girls.

I made a decision in my head, that I would get my daughter as fast as I could pick her up from Sunday School. I started doing that, so this teacher didn’t have any time with my daughter after class. Yet he still found her. I had picked her up from Sunday School, sat her at a table on the church patio, while I went to talk with people. I turned around and there he was, sitting with my daughter drawing a picture on a balloon. I quickly walked over to them and called my daughter over. She happily showed me the picture he drew on the balloon. It was a boy and girl, facing each other, holding hands, with hearts all around it. More red flags shot up in my head. Okay, I’m done with Sunday School. As simple as that. I would quietly withdraw my daughter from class, and she would come with me to adult Sunday School. No need to make a ruckus. No need to cause a scene.

But the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let this go. If I really believed this guy could be a predator, shouldn’t I alert the church, just in case? I didn’t want to. I just wanted to leave quietly. The Holy Spirit, spoke loudly in my head that I needed to tell someone. I really, really didn’t want to. I finally called the Pastor and made an appointment to see him. The day of the appointment, I sat in the park, outside my house, dreading the meeting. On a sunny day, I sat there in the park, praying and asking the Lord if I really needed to do this. Can I just cancel the appointment? Show me a sign, that this is what you want us to do. Before I could finish my prayer, a light rain shower poured down on my head. I looked up, the rain instantly stopped, and poof, a rainbow appeared, right over the park I was sitting at. There was my sign.

My husband and I did talk to the pastor and the children’s ministry leader. We told them our concerns and told them we were withdrawing our daughter from Sunday School. They didn’t do anything about the Sunday School teacher, but at least we did our part and let them know our concerns.

You see, child predators are not greasy-haired men, hiding in the shadows, lurking for their next victim. They are the friendly guys. They are the nice guys. They need you to think of them as the nicest guy ever. Someone you can trust your child to. And these friendly guys know right where they can go to find victims with trusting parents. Why church, of course.

Anna C. Salter writes an excellent book, “Predators. Pedophiles, Rapists and Other Sex Offenders.” In it, she interviews pedophiles. They all say the same thing, these men seek out their victims at church, because most people look at the world with rose colored glasses, especially at church.

I’m not saying we need to all pull our kids out of Sunday School and walk around fearing for our children. Just be aware. Don’t think, because you are at church, all is perfect. Listen to the voice in your head. Be mindful of the world around you. Stay awake. And God will guide you, as He always does.