I’m Ashamed To Admit This

It’s been two weeks since I’ve last written. I usually write something to start the new year, but I’m still in the midst of this trial. I pray day and night for God to come relieve me. He hasn’t yet, but I know He will.

In the midst of this trial I look at things differently. I try and keep my focus on the Lord. I try and be still and quiet. I know He’s heard my prayers. I know my prayers have gone into golden bowls. My heart is broken, yet He says in His word, He is near to the broken hearted. I take comfort in that. I take great comfort in the fact that my prayers have reached heaven. They’ve reached God’s ears. He’s heard every one of them. He knows my thoughts. He knows the number of hairs of my head.

This trial has woken me up, made me think and to evaluate my life. Was I doing everything I was supposed to be doing? Was I pleasing to God with my life? I would have to say I wasn’t.

Looking at myself, I had a great prayer life. I constantly pray. I always have. Where I was lacking was in reading my Bible. It wasn’t consistent at all. I would give myself excuses. Oh, I’ve read it before. I’ve done tons of studies on that book. I’ll just pray now and read my Bible later. But later would come, and I wouldn’t read it. Really studying God’s word, was a missing piece in my life, I’m ashamed to say.

So now I’ve thrown myself into consistently reading my Bible and boy what a difference it makes. Reading the Bible sets my brain on a good setting. It brings my eyes to focus on God and His words. It nourishes me. It quenches my thirst. I feel this sense of well-being after I’ve finished reading. When I look up from the scriptures, I don’t feel the heat of this trial anymore. It’s still there, but the sting is gone.

It is really embarrassing to admit that I let that part of my Christian walk slip out of my life. Sometimes that’s why we have fiery trials-it wakes us up. It helps us to reevaluate. It helps us to do a tuneup in our lives to make sure everything is running okay. I’ve been a Christian for a long time, but it just shows we have to keep on or things can grow stagnate.

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you let the Bible slip out of your daily habits. If so, I want to really encourage you to get back into the word. Feast on God’s word daily. His words are like a balm for the believer’s soul. It comforts and soothes. It satisfies like nothing else can. We as Believers can slip up. But God will remind us. If you are going through anything, read the Bible. And if you come to the story about Judas hanging himself, you might want to skip that part for now and move on to something else.