knowledgeofgoodandevil

I remember one time I was out picking berries with my mom. We were scattered about, walking on the spongy tundra that sank at least half a foot when you walked on it. It had been a rainy day that day. It was kind of gray outside, but at that moment the rain had stopped and the bright sun shone above us.

As we walked along, squishing down on the tundra, I looked up and saw part of a rainbow. I called to the rest of my family and had them look up at the rainbow. It was only a partial rainbow. I told my mom that I had never seen a whole rainbow before. I had never seen the whole arch of a rainbow. Within an instant, of me saying that, Bam! A whole rainbow appeared in the sky for me to see. God wanted me to see His handiwork. I was in awe of the whole thing.

I was really young that day, that God showed me His rainbow. But it did something to me. When I had said, I’d never seen a whole rainbow and instantly, a whole one appeared, bright and big right before my eyes, there was a sense of how real God is. I couldn’t touch Him, I never heard His voice, I couldn’t see Him. But I could see His handiwork. I could see the rainbow. And God showed it to me whole and big.

Who was I to get to see God at work like that? I was just a little kid, trudging along in my rain boots, across the squishy tundra. I was no theologian. I hadn’t saved lives. I fought with my brother and sister on a regular basis. I’m sure my mom could vouch for the many times I disobeyed her. So why me? How come God was listening to a little kid who hadn’t seen a whole rainbow before? Why did, not seeing a whole rainbow matter to God?

Like I said, the rainbow did something to me. The realness of God hit me smack in the face. God was very real. He heard me, a little kid, asking about His rainbows. A hundred Sunday School classes couldn’t have taught me what I learned that day. I gained knowledge of God that day. It went deep into my soul. God heard a little kid’s comment about not seeing a whole rainbow, so He showed me one. If God cared so much about seeing His rainbows, how much more did He care about everything in our lives? The rainbow gift had huge ramifications on just how big, how caring, how intimate God is with people.

That was the first time God used a rainbow in my life. The second time, I was sitting in my park waiting to go to a meeting with the pastor of our church. To sum it up quickly, we were going to talk to the pastor about our daughter and her Sunday School teacher. He was paying too much attention to her. He did a couple of other things that raised red flags for us. We were going to talk to the pastor, so he was aware that this could be a potential problem. We had already decided to pull her out of Sunday School all together. But as I waited in the park, I was having second thoughts. I really didn’t want to bring this up to the pastor at all. I just wanted to quietly pull our daughter out and be done with it. I didn’t want drama or to cause problems. As I second guessed myself, I prayed quietly and asked God for confirmation that I should do this because I really didn’t want to. Suddenly, on a bright sunny day, rain poured down upon me. It was a quick little rain shower, that quickly left as soon as it appeared. And then, bam! A rainbow shone through the sky. There was that rainbow again. When I saw that rainbow, I knew God had answered my prayer immediately. I was supposed to talk to the pastor. Rats. I was hoping He would say otherwise.

God is so real in our lives. I know there are times, when we don’t see any rainbows, only rain. I’ve had plenty of those times. But the rainbows do come. God wants us to see His rainbows. And just like He listened to a little kid in rain boots who had never seen a whole rainbow, God listens to anyone who will call upon His name. He cares about us.

“Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for  you,” 1 Peter 5:7

I cried last week. My daughter looked surprised at me and told me she never sees me cry. But I guess I broke my record.

I’m still struggling with the raising of my son. I didn’t know I would struggle so. I didn’t know there was going to be a process. My daughter was so easy. She just followed and copied everything I did. This isn’t okay for my son. He’s pushing back. He’s asserting himself at times. And that’s what he did last Sunday.

We were coming home from church and he critiqued me. I was having a good day too. I was feeling happy and content and out of no where he threw a pot shot at me. I told him that wasn’t true and he wouldn’t relent. He argued back and said it was. My feelings were hurt. I turned to my husband and asked him if he was going to intervene. He did. He questioned my son. My son gave me a sarcastic sorry and that was it.

We came into the house. My sister and her family were staying with us. I burst into tears and had to run upstairs to let go of my grief. My husband chased me up the stairs (remember, I don’t cry often) to console me. I told him, that our son needed to make up to me. He said he would tell him. It took me a few minutes, but I managed to pull myself together.

My son gave me another (what I thought) flippant apology. I was still angry with him. I told him God puts a high premium on obedience to your parents. He actually says your life depends upon it. I have reminded him in the Bible that if you looked at your parents wrong, a kid got stoned to death. And not the “fun” kind of stoned either!

I spent the day angry with my son. I ignored him for most of the day and enjoyed my time with my sister. I waited for him to come and give me a sincere apology, but he didn’t.

We went to bed and my son made no move to make amends with me. When I woke up in the morning, I went downstairs. My sister and her family were down there AND my son. I looked at my son, in front of everybody, and said, “You never really apologized to me. You need to give me a proper apology.” My son looked embarrassed. He needed to be. He got up and asked me if I wanted him to get on his knees to say he was sorry. I said yes.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs while my son kneeled down in the middle of the room, in front of my sister and her family and said he was sorry. I stood there, watching my son become more of a man, than he was the day before. He had kneeled on our hardwood floor, with nothing between his knees and the hardness and said he was sorry. He got up from the floor and said he needed to give me a hug and he did. He came over to me and hugged me hard, his long arms wrapping around me. (Hugs from my son are very infrequent now).

You might think I made a big deal out of nothing. I don’t think I did. You might think I was wrong for calling out my son the way I did. I don’t think I was. This boy. This man needs to learn to be a man. Part of that is honoring your parents. If he doesn’t learn it now, when will he? To respect, first, your parents, will help you to respect others. If the Lord tarries, someday my son will have a wife. He will need to honor and respect her. He will need great humility. God puts a high premium on humility too. God is opposed to the proud.

I could have told my son that he didn’t need to do that. But I think he needed that. We as parents, have a grave responsibility in raising sons. I just saw on the news how a young girl got stabbed in her bedroom and the police think it was her boyfriend. She was only sixteen. What kind of boy, stabs his young girlfriend to death? I think the kind that didn’t have anyone telling him he needed to apologize when he was wrong. We’re raising my son to be a knight, to be a man. I think he had a little lesson on Sunday when he made me cry. I hope he did.

I laugh at this discussion about transgenders. The very idea that a person thinks they can change their sex by adding parts or subtracting parts. There is so much, much more to it than that. So much more.

I’m struggling right now with raising my son. That darling little guy that loved me so much. My little cuddle partner. The guy who used to skip down the hall with me on our way to his classroom for Bible study. The little guy who stuffed his pockets with everything. When I washed his clothes, I had to make sure I cleaned out his pockets. They usually contained 3-9 Lego pieces, 3 or more candy wrappers, two or more small sticks and at least a teaspoon of sand or more. And sticks! What is it with boys and sticks? He would always find sticks and leave them on our front door. Big sticks and little sticks. One time he and a friend had a feud over a big stick my son had found. The friend took it and left it on his door step. My son went to claim it and his mother said that wasn’t right for him to take the stick off their front porch. Okay, people, it’s just a stick. But it’s not just a stick. To a boy, it meant so much more.

If I sat at the computer, my son almost always landed on my head. He’d climb me and sit on the back of my neck. Whenever I went to get him up for a nap, he would almost always have one leg flung over the crib, on his way out. One time I found him in the middle of the dining room table just standing there, in the center, looking around. New perspective I guess.

One day he picked up a purple purse owned by my daughter with pink feathers on the top of it. He copied me and put it on the crux of his arm and started walking around the house with it. My husband saw him and asked what he was doing. I shrugged my shoulders, but my husband demanded he take it off right now, boys don’t go around with purple purses. My son was okay with that. He moved on, probably looking for more sticks.

He declared to me when he was about three that he liked, “ladies, cake and spiders.” Alrighty then. He amused me. We didn’t think alike. He wasn’t like my daughter at all. My daughter and I are both females, so she just followed me.

My son is now almost 6’3″. He doesn’t cuddle with me anymore. He doesn’t climb on my head (which is really a good thing). He hasn’t said he liked “ladies, cake and spiders” in a really long time. He’s grown distant.

I complained to my friend the other day, who has a grown son. I complained that my little cuddle partner was gone. She very wisely told me that was natural and normal. This is what they are supposed to do. There’s a time, they pull away. I don’t know what it means to be a man. I don’t know how to be a man. He needs to learn from another man (his father). She said it was a good thing for him to do this. You don’t want him growing up to be like a woman. He’s not.

She remembered a homeschooling conference she went to, that had a workshop on raising your sons to be knights. She said there was a collective sigh in the group when all these mothers in the room, heard from the speaker that they needed to get out of the way. Women can’t teach their sons how to be knights.

My friend was right when she told me this was normal. I really have no idea what it takes to be a man. She did say they come back. But for a time, they really need to pull away. I’m having to adjust to this. I keep yearning for those days when I was my son’s whole world. But I know this is good. He does need to learn to be a man and I really have no concept.

God made men and women unique. He designed us, so there are ways men act and ways women act. We are so uniquely different. Our differences go deep into our genetic makeup. Every one of our billions of cells tells us whether we are men or women. No amount of body mutilating will change that.

I will never understand the fascination with sticks. I never had or ever will have the energy my son has. My son and I will never look at the world in the same way. But that’s okay. It’s how God designed it.

After I talked to my friend, I felt a sense of relief. My son doesn’t hate me, he’s just growing up. He’s learning to be a man and I need to get out of the way.

A long time ago, in a place faraway (from my life now) I worked as an elementary school counselor. I counseled little kids. They were referred to me for countless reasons, but it usually boiled down to the kid just not behaving well. That was it. It manifested itself in different ways, but it really was about the kid just not acting the way they should. In this district, I worked at, each elementary school had a counselor and we were supervised by one of the three school psychologists who had their doctorate.

I remember a story one of our supervisors told us. He told us a story of a little boy on the playground. Every recess, this little boy would get on all fours and crawl around the playground pushing a ball with his nose. When she first noticed it, the teacher became worried. It was such a strange behavior. Why was this boy pushing a ball around the playground with his nose? Why did he have to get on all fours to do this? After observing this behavior for several recesses, the teacher decided she needed to go to the principal and ask him what to do. So for the next recess, the principal came out and joined the teacher in observing this little boy. Not to disappoint, the boy got on all fours and began pushing the ball around with his nose. The principal looked at the teacher concerned. This really was odd behavior. The principal decided they needed help with this strange child. He invited the school counselor to come out and observe this boy at recess time. The next recess time, the teacher, the principal and the school counselor all stood outside at recess to watch this strange boy. And just like all the other times in the past, the boy got on all fours and pushed a ball around with his nose. The school counselor agreed there was something wrong with this child. She would call the school psychologist. Something needed to be done with this strange child who got on all fours and pushed a ball around the playground with his nose. The school counselor called the school psychologist, who was the person telling this story. She invited him to come observe the child. He did. So out on recess, the teacher, the principal, the school counselor and now the school psychologist all stood outside at recess and observed the young boy, getting down on all fours and pushing a ball around with his nose. The school psychologist watched for a few minutes and then turned to the line of people so concerned for this little boy.

“Has anyone asked him to stop it?” No, was everyone’s response. No one had thought of that. This seemed like such a strange and unusual problem. There must be something seriously wrong with the child.

First things first, the school psychologist walked over to the little boy, bent down and asked him to stop crawling on all fours and pushing the ball with his nose.

“Okay,” said the boy and he got up on his feet and never did it again.

What’s the moral of this story? Well sometimes we can make a mountain out of a mole hill. Sometimes, the simplest thing could be the answer. Sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. As we walk this life, the Christian may face many strange children, getting on all fours, and pushing balls around with their noses. But try the simplest thing first. Ask the child to stop it. Nine times out of ten, they probably will. Nine times out of ten, the problem you are facing, may seem complicated, but it isn’t. It may seem bigger than it is, but it’s actually not a problem at all.

Think of the k.i.s.s. method in life (keep it simple stupid). Everything can be boiled down to it’s essence. Whenever you face a problem, give it to God (the school psychologist of the story). He’ll help you. And what you see as complicated and overwhelming isn’t so for God. He has a solution and will help you, always, 100% of the time. God is good. All the time.

 

 

I just celebrated a milestone recently. My twin sister will hate me for saying this out loud, but I, we, just turned a half century old. The big 50. That just sounds like a lot of years. And so, since I’ve been on this planet for fifty years I’ve discovered a few things that I know for sure. Here are fifty things I know for sure:

1. God is real.
2. God made the planet and everything in it.
3. When potatoes go bad, they really do reek.
4. I am not perfect.
5. Housework never ends.
6. Jesus Christ is God.
7. God exists in three Persons.
8. Toilets break at the most inconvienent times.
9. One can actually teach your own children just like a school.
10. The Bible is 100% true.
11. Marriage is good.
12. When you finish the dishes, you’ll have to do them again…and again…and again.
13. Socks will always get lost in the dryer.
14. I don’t like heat.
15. Jesus Christ died for my sins.
16. Jesus Christ died for your sins.
17. Jesus Christ rose from the dead.
18. Jesus Christ is alive and coming back.
19. You should never microwave a hard boiled egg.
20. Evolution is bunk.
21. So is man made global warming.
22. The sun sets and rises everyday.
23. My hair must be washed everyday.
24. Michael Angelo was a real good artist.
25. New car smell really does smell good.
26. Death is not the end.
27. I will live for eternity.
28. I will go to heaven when I die.
29. Fresh wild King salmon is absolutely delicious.
30. If your kids are scheduled to take pictures, their faces will break out the night before-it’s a scientific fact.
31. I will always forget the one thing I went to the grocery store for. (Especially if it’s toilet paper).
32. I can’t sing. (You should thank me that I know this for sure).
33. When your kid is a baby, they will always spit up on the new outfit you put them in.
34. Your child will need to go to the bathroom on a road trip, badly, in the area you don’t want to stop, or where there are no bathrooms.
35. Cauliflower reeks too, when it is old.
36. Caffeine makes it hard to sleep at night if you consume it after 3pm.
37. Gray hair can be covered.
38. I’m not the smartest mom.
39. I’m not the dumbest mom.
40. The hardest part about getting up early, is the getting up part.
41. Getting at least 8 hours of sleep is really good for you.
42. A lot can be accomplished, early in the morning.
43. God created the world in six days.
44. God never had a beginning.
45. A person can switch from night owl to early riser.
46. You start talking about what’s wrong with your body when you get older. You try not to, but you do.
47. A toilet can be fixed by a woman with no plumbing skills.
48. God loves me.
49. God loves you.
50. This world is ending soon.

What do you know for sure, that’s not on my list?